Manic Mama Monday – {Tweens!!!}

So here it is, the forever dreaded MONDAY!!! AAAHHHH! This is also the first post for my new weekly post series called Manic Mama Monday! In these weekly posts I will touch on parenting tips, rants and anything else to do with kids and parenting for the week. So to start off this series and this whole week’s theme I would like to talk to you about TWEEN GIRLS…. I know, I know it’s a scary subject but one that must be focused on this week. Most of society refers to tweens as girls who range from ages 10-12 right before officially becoming a teenager at age 13, however they are wrong. I am here to tell you that as soon as your daughter, granddaughter, niece or whoever starts acting and attempting to dress as though they are 17 then they are a tween. Girls mature at different ages and some way faster than others. Sadly, for me I have one of these girls. She is 8 years old right now but this started a year ago. For most people 6, 7, 8 and 9 year olds are still seen as “little” kids, so most parents don’t expect certain behaviors and activities from their children of these ages because they think they still have a few years. This is exactly how my mind was set. My oldest is 10 and a boy so I worry and expect certain behaviors from him that I never even thought about with my daughter. I still saw her as my baby and figured I had plenty of time to worry about how she dressed or acted in front of boys, how she felt about boys or how she handled herself online…. Unfortunately I was wrong. Both of my children have Xboxes and have Xbox live so therefore connection to the internet and Netflix and YouTube, a fact of which I honestly never gave much thought to. The reason it was ever given to them was when they were both obsessed with that Minecraft game and wanted to play online with each other and visit each other’s worlds so no biggie right? Well my son received a tablet for Christmas and started using Facebook and Facebook messenger. I allowed this because he only used it to stay in contact with my mother and other family members who live in other states. It was great, made my mom’s day that he could “text” her from Facebook messenger whenever he wanted. So then my daughter wanted in on the action and we got her an iPod. Biggest mistake I have ever made as far as gift giving for my kids!! At first, she used it for music and had some kiddie games on there she played constantly which was fine. She also used the messenger app to talk with family and even me. She would message me asking when dinner was ready and things like that. It all seemed peachy right? No! The downfall started when she got permission from her friends’ parents to message back and forth with them on there. This became a constant battle to get that thing out of her hands and face. She was facetiming at 7AM and sneaking messages out after bedtime on school nights. So I had to put time limits on the messenger, which I had to apply to both kids to be fair and my son had never needed them. After that, then she started acting a fool over messenger within her allowed timeframe. My wonderful baby girl was bullying her friend and they almost stopped being friends.  Now I say “bullying” but she wasn’t meaning it like that. She was all in all joking with her friend and acting crazy thinking it was funny but as most of you know things online and in a message do not always come across as people mean them to. So I had to answer phone calls and questions from her friends’ parents about why my daughter was being mean and didn’t want to be friends with their daughter anymore and a whole huge mess of crap that us moms DO NOT want to have to deal with. So as mommy duty would demand I took away her messenger privileges. She was still allowed to keep the app and message family members only! I blocked everyone else on there so she couldn’t talk with friends anymore. BUT the trouble did not stop there… next she became OBSESSED with YouTube! It was all she did. At first it was just annoying because she was watching videos of her favorite Disney movies and songs over and over and over again. Then she started watching those ridiculous challenges and prank videos. She started following and watching this particular guys viral video channel but I allowed it because they were ok for kids. They were really just dumb but nothing inappropriate. Turns out the guy was a 17-year-old boy and she looked him up on Facebook messenger and tried facetiming him and messaging him, you know the messenger that was supposed to be only for family now? By this point I was deciding that maybe she wasn’t mature enough to have all this technology at her fingertips and was contemplating taking it away. Unfortunately, my story does not end here, her brother came to me all upset because he had gotten on her iPod to look up something on YouTube and saw where she had looked up a sexual phrase on there. Being the good snoopy big brother he is he went into her history and saw that she had actually watched or at least clicked on at least three of the videos that had come up with her search. He immediately confronted her about it and said he was going to tell. He did tell however between the time he looked at it and the time I actually got my hands on it all the history on EVERYTHING had been removed! She is only 8 years old people!!! First off, where in the HELL did she even learn those words to look up? Or where did she learn what it meant and how to look up the right way? Then how did she know how to erase everything so there was no proof?? I was completely floored by this. I still see her as my baby girl and had no idea that she even knew or understand anything having to do with sex and I was so very very wrong. She now has no apps on her iPod except the messenger to talk to her grandparents and aunt with. It has to come to me to be charged and the very first time I look at it and any history from anything has been deleted it is gone. The reason I wanted to share this story is to warn other moms out there. I honest to goodness did not know to even look for or be worried about my precious baby girl looking up porn on the internet or trying to message with a 17-year-old boy. Of course now I am all up in their business when it comes to their internet because I’m totally paranoid at this point. Luckily that “boy” never did respond to her but OMG that could have gone a completely different way. She saw him as like a celebrity because he had his own popular YouTube channel. So please please please moms everywhere DO NOT be naive about anything with your kids and keep an eye on EVERYTHING!!! Trust me on this! I am so glad that I discovered all of this now that she is still younger before she is old enough to go out with friends and things like that. So there you have it, my Manic Mama Monday rant and warning for the week. I promise that not every Monday will be such an awful and tormenting topic lol I just had to get this message out there. When I told my friends who’s daughters are her age, they were so completely blown away and thought what I did, that their little girl was way too little to know anything about anything like that and was not old enough for any of that behavior. So now they know not to overlook the age and so do you. Alright my lil bloglets, until next time….

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